Marching On.

Terrible pun. I know. But it seems appropriate now that I can (almost) officially say that I have survived my first "real" winter. The snow is melting quickly. Grass is starting to reappear and we've even seen the sun for a few days. Things like "above freezing" have driven me to wear shorts and flip-flops. They say March is deceptive because often times the sun comes out for a while, the snow melts and it seems like spring has finally arrived. Then the freak snow storm hits. Blizzards in April. That's not cool. I'm hoping for the best but bracing for the worst. My snow shoes are still easily accessible. Just in cases.

Winter actually wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. It helped that LOST returned to television a few weeks ago. AND I have had quite the slough of visitors over the last couple of months. You know that people who will brave arctic conditions to pay a visit really love you. Jason came out at the end of January and we went WAY up north to cheer on our friend, Ray Sanchez, as he completed the ridiculous Arrowhead Ultrathon. Who the heck runs 135 miles in Minnesota? In January. He finished though. And then started making plans for next year. And Jason had his first experience with cold temperatures that can actually kill you. I would tell you what he said about the cold the moment he felt that first blast of breath-taking air...but I'm trying to keep things kid friendly around here.

Marie was here last week. My southern goddess celebrated the second anniversary of her 29th birthday in the frozen tundra. I introduced her to Paul Bunyan. His Ox. She got to harass Chad for a few days. And she got to meet Kara. I have to say that having my southern "person" spend time with my northern "person" was a little scary. There is potential scheming there that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with...I might be too much of a control freak for that.

Ryan and Ben and the girls were here for a few days. Laney is getting big. Buggy is so old. And she loves her Auntie Nels. Sometimes I find it rather hilarious that I'm the one living in Minnesota and Ryan managed to stay put 0n the west coast. It's probably better that way. I miss her terribly, but I don't think Brainerd is ready for the Nels and Ry show. That can only end in someone being incarcerated (probably me) and what could only make a genius script for a made-for-TV movie.

Anyway...there's the recap for the last several weeks of freezing temperatures. It's 36 degrees today. And climbing. Remember a few months ago when I was whining about how COLD is was when it was in the thirties? It's amazing how a few weeks of negative temperatures can completely overhaul perception. I'm afraid to go home in the summer...I might actually melt. And...it appears I might have become an actual Minnesotan.

Well...not according to my driver's license. I'll hold out on that as long as I can.

Sunday Drive.

When I get bored bad things happen. Seriously, if in your head, you think, "maybe this is a bad idea", that's probably because IT IS. I, however, have continually ignored that inner voice for the majority of my life. That's probably how I ended up stuck in the middle of a lake today. That's right- I drove my car out on a lake and I got stuck.

I've been on a frozen lake before, but this was my first time driving myself out on to the water. I got about a half a mile out before I started to realize getting back might be tricky. I was right. It was. A nice man with a shovel and a fish house came and rescued me. When I admitted to being an idiot for driving onto the ice all he said was, "Yep". Awesome.

So we got my car dislodged from the middle of the lake snow bank I drove into. I called my mom and told her about my adventure and then my car started overheating. My poor little Jetta. As it turns out snow can get up inside your vehicle and freeze causing the car to overheat. That makes total sense, right? Right!? No, I didn't think so either.



So, four hours after my Sunday drive began I am writing this blog from inside Chad's toasty vehicle while he and his dad brave the elements to set things right for my poor tortured vehicle. I know...I might actually be retarded.

Minnesota Skiiing

I've heard Minnesota skiing is kind of a joke compared to skiing in the Rockies or the Sierras. Actually, I think it's been Minnesotans that have said so. Anyway, for Kara's birthday she wanted to go skiing, so she and her friend Maija and I attacked the mountain...or the hill?

I don't know...I guess it wasn't a real mountain.

The runs were shorter. It was about 3 degrees for most of the day...like freeze your face off cold. It brings a whole new dimension to your mask freezing to your face. No injuries. No helmets. Well, except for my little run in with the ski lift. That might leave a mark.

BUT black diamonds are still black diamonds even if they are quite a bit shorter. It was amazing to hit the slopes and it was a beautiful day. Doesn't get much better than this.

Robert Allen Nelson.

My Grandpa died tonight. They told him he was going to die two years ago. He's a Swede. His quiet but stubborn fight went on far longer than anyone thought it would. Two years ago Grandpa was diagnosed with cancer. Terminal cancer. They gave him six months to live. He quietly accepted his prognosis and fought what doctors said was would be a futile effort.

My grandpa was one of the greatest men I know. He was stoic. He was hard working. He loved his family. He was a first generation American. He was a soldier. He was brilliant. He was quiet. He was witty. He was tender. He was proud.

The only time I ever remember seeing my Grandpa cry was when my Grandma died last year. Seeing them together in her last days was the perfect ending to an amazing love story. She laid in ICU- intubated, in and out of consciousness (until they tried to cut off her wedding ring...then she became VERY conscious). He sat in his wheel chair holding her face in his weakened arthritic hands, telling her how much he loved her. It was a moment I'll always remember.

After my Grandma died, my brother and I found an album of letters my Grandpa had written her while he was serving in Korea. Three years worth of love letters. Some were funny. Some were kind of dirty (we may have caused some permanent damage for my dad). But mostly, they were beautiful. It's like the beginning of our legacy.

Now I know that I'll always cherish them.

It's surreal to feel loss away from my family. I've never done this alone before. It's a whole new element to walking through life's darker moments. As I get older and experience more loss I find myself doing the same things.


Looking for pictures.
Remembering his voice.
Remembering moments.
Laughing at my own inability to process it.


Being away is hard. Distance never feels as far as it does when closing it is the only thing you want.

I saw my Grandpa while I was home a couple of weeks ago. I knew things were bad because for the first time in my life he asked me to help him with something. He was in a ton of pain, but stoic as ever. And that's how he died. He waited until he was alone and then he quietly slipped away. Such a Swede.

I miss you Papa. Thanks for founding the Nelson family legacy. I hope we make you proud. I love you.

Back to the Frozen Tundra.

It's weird when you go home and home doesn't feel like home.

What's even more bizarre is coming back to where you live hoping that might feel more like home and it doesn't. It's like all of the sudden you don't have an anchor. Nothing keeps you centered. Panic sets in. Suddenly you don't know who you are or what identifies you. Deep breath. Brown bag, please.

I don't know why I described that in the second person . I guess it's easier to disassociate myself from that reality. Now I'm laughing. What does that even mean? It's fleeting. I'm going to make it. I think it has something to do with the fact that the landscape is draped in frozen clouds and the temperature outside has not reached about zero since the beginning of the New Year. When a forecast in the teens feels like a heat wave you know something is terribly wrong.

I learned what "Arctic Sun" is today. It's a lie. The Sun is out. It looks like it might be pleasant outside, but it's not. It's freezing. I ran to my car yesterday with no shoes on. Bad idea. The good news is I still have nine toes.

So will I make until the ice melts? Probably. Although, I fairly convinced there may be some bets against me. That's fine. They'll lose their money. I'm too competitive to back down now. I will win. Even with the dumb Arctic Sun.

Going Home.

I'm nine hours from being home. In N Out. Sushi. Sleeping in my own bed. Buggy. Mom's breakfast. 70 degrees warmer than it is here. I'm excited...but I'm kind of sad. Who thought I would ever miss this frozen tundra. I already do and I'm not even gone yet.

Crap. This is totally not fair.

Wnter is Here.

Alright...it's been a few weeks. I survived Thanksgiving in the Midwest. I made some of mom's stuffing and hashbrown casserole to remind me of home. I think I single-handedly finished off the hashbrowns. They were good. You shouldn't waste that stuff.

Chad and I went Christmas Tree Hunting after Thanksgiving. My favorite family tradition is cutting down the Christmas Tree and I'm pretty bummed about missing it this year, but I think I'll make it. Chad and I didn't cut down the tree, but he was smart enough to know a fake tree wouldn't cut it. So we have a Home Depot tree. I'm sure my mom was horrified, but we won't make a habit of it. I couldn't deal with that.

So, Thanksgiving, trees, lots of Christmas candy, oh, and the snow is here. And I'm pretty sure it's here to stay for a while. It's been COLD the last few days. The lakes are frozen. The roads are slick. And I've learned a few things about snow (and COLD) that I didn't know before. Here's the list:

• Eric Craine told me that when driving in the snow the one thing I need to know is to NOT drive like his wife. So, don't drive like Kara. Check.
  
• You can't leave mascara in the car over night because the tube will freeze and frozen mascara doesn't work.
  
• Don't brake going downhill, you'll end up in a ditch. Check. Don't drive like Kara. Check.
• A lake has to be frozen at least two inches to walk on it, but most people won't go on it until it's been frozen for at least a week or two and they know it's a good four or five inches thick. Why didn't I know this? Because I hang out with the Katzenbergers and as soon as there is ice. They risk it. Sometimes with a four-wheeler.
  
• While TOMS are great shoes, they don't have any traction.
• Ice skating makes you sore like skiing makes you sore. Thing car accident pain.
  
• Running in the snow isn't so bad. It's actually kind of nice. Until you reach a hill.

I'm sure as I drive off the roads and fall through lakes there will be more lessons to learn. I'll keep you posted. And seriously...I keep hearing myself saying really Minnesotan things. This morning I said "spose". Not good.